01
Customer orders.
Totally normal so far.
Get Roasted · Order #0427
1× Flat White$4
1× Dignity$0
Roaston the house
thanks for getting roasted
Get Roasted — great coffee, questionable humor
Coffee · Roasting · Community
Since 1990*
*JK, he wasn't even born yet
Great coffee. Questionable humor.
Scroll to get roasted
you asked for it.
We take our coffee seriously.
We don't take ourselves too seriously.
Every customer leaves with at least one of these:
- A great coffee.
- A laugh.
- A memorable interaction.
- A reason to come back.
- Ideally, all four.
Two meanings. One name.
01
Coffee
Coffee beans are roasted. Carefully. Lovingly. Seriously.
02
Culture
People get roasted by their friends. Also lovingly. Less seriously.
Roast level
Light
Fruity. Optimistic. Like you on a Monday.
Come for the coffee.
Stay for the roast.
The
ritual.
It should become recognizable. It already is. Scroll sideways like a crab →
02
Barista asks:
Want to get roasted?
03
Customer says yes.
(They always say yes.)
YES.
04
Barista writes the roast on the cup.
Look at the cup. Right now. →
05
Customer receives the drink.
Your coffee is ready. Your roast is too.
Order #0427 · Ready
06
Customer reads the roast.
“DAMN.”
Not: “That was actually mean.”
07
Everyone laughs.
Ritual complete. Dignity optional.
HAHA!HAHAHA
The cup is
the media.
Roast 01 / 04
Coffee+Personality+Content+Conversation
The customer should want to take a picture of the cup.
Brave
enough?
In the café, ask your barista. Online, Franky does it himself. Five steps, one cup, zero dignity.
- 01Your name
- 02Your drink
- 03Your crimes
- 04How savage
- 05Your cup, ready for your story
Live from the bar · Roast for MIA · look at the cup →
Admit you drank coffee somewhere else and your picture goes on the wall. It's not punishment. It's an inside club.
We trusted you. ✶You chose another coffee shop. ✶Coffee betrayal has consequences. ✶They left. They came back. We forgave them. ✶
Tap a traitor. They deserve it.Drag the traitors around. They deserve it.
Kevin
“It was on the way.”
On probationSarah
Pumpkin thing. Elsewhere. In October.
ForgivenMarco
Repeat offender (×3)
Repeat offenderDana
Brought a competitor's cup INSIDE.
Banned (for a day)Leo
Said “coffee is coffee.”
Forgiven. Barely.Priya
Airport coffee. Twice.
Under review* The Wall of Shame is consensual and playful. Every face up there volunteered. Ask a barista to join. Wall of Fame coming for the loyal ones.
From stranger to legend.
Stop 1
You start as a customer.
Stop 2
You get roasted.
Stop 3
You end up on the Wall of Shame.
Stop 4
You become a regular.
Stop 5
You make the Wall of Fame.
The Roasted
Club.
Not a boring loyalty card. A boring loyalty card could never.
- Buying coffee+10 pts
- Getting roasted+20 pts
- Posting your cup+30 pts
- Attending events+40 pts
- Bringing friends+50 pts
- Referring customers+100 pts
Member #0001
The Roasted Club
10 stamps = free coffee. 0 stamps = suspicious.
Free coffeeFree specialty drinkPriority roastWall of Fame membershipLimited merch
Thanks for getting roasted.
Come for the coffee.
Ask to get roasted.
Don't drink somewhere else.
Or you might end up on the Wall of Shame. ☕
Visit
Address coming soon
Open daily, 8am – 10pm*
*Times subject to roasting
© 2026 Get Roasted
Great coffee. Questionable humor.
We roast beans. We roast people.